The Essence of Me

ON TRAINING…

It’s Friday, and tonight is the conclusion of our third week in product training. Whoa! Who’d have thought I would last this long? (My very loyal friends, probably.) To be honest, the thought of resigning has been with me since week 2. Then I realized, whatever I am experiencing right now, I would also experience if I move to another company.

I was never diligent as a student (even way back in primary school). I never really felt how it was to be excellent. I was a mediocre person through and through. Now it’s different. It’s even worse than college! You’re forced to be excellent in what you do, not because you’ll be rewarded (but it’s part of that, of course) but because it is expected of you. It’s not a bad thing, really, especially because I am actually learning to be responsible and diligent, however gradual the process may be.

I was assigned to do the role play last Wednesday, and I panicked! Good thing I was able to finish the call… thanks to my trainer. I never really appreciated him before, but now I’m quite convinced that we’re lucky to have him. He has his faults, yes, after all he’s only human. But he’s okay.

Oh no, just one more week and we’re moving on to lab. I’m gonna have a heart attack.

ON PEOPLE…

It’s a sad thing when supposedly intelligent people judge a person by his profession or status in life. I strongly believe that as long as you’re an honest and hardworking person, and you don’t trample on anyone, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a balut vendor or a CEO in a big company. And puhleeezz, people! Don’t attack a person for doing his job… and don’t gang up on him.

On a happier note, I was so glad to discover that two of my teammates are also from UP. It’s nice to find people I could reminisce the UP life with. I miss it so much. I wish there was no need to graduate and leave school.

So to those who say that UP is hell… all I can say is, you guys missed a lot.

ON LOVE…

Nina was laughing at me today, because she saw me looking at and caressing (yikes!) a picture of ______ (Note: can’t be too careful, he might read this and of course, figure me out.) (Note again: although, I don’t know why I even care, because he already knows how I felt [or still feel] about him.) She said it was like a scene out of a teenybopper romantic movie. Well, I can’t really blame her, even I laughed at myself when I realized what I was doing. I’m too old for this. But looking at his picture is sort of a therapy for me. It fills me with a nice, warm feeling, and reminds me that life is beautiful. Love is beautiful.

ON AS I LAY ME DOWN…

I really love this song. It is actually my song for that special person. It reminds me of that morning when we first opened up to each other. Here are the lyrics.

It felt like springtime
On this February morning
In the courtyard
Birds were singing your praise
I’m still recalling things you said
To make me feel alright
I carry them with me today
Now

As I lay me down to sleep
This I pray
That you will hold me dear
Though I’m far away
and I’ll whisper your name
Into the sky
And I will wake up happy

I wonder why I feel so high
Though I am not above the sorrow
Heavy hearted
Till you call my name
And it sounds like church bells
Or the whistle of a train
On a summer evening
I run to meet you
Barefoot barely breathing

It’s not too near for me
Like a flower I need the rain
Though it’s not clear to me
Every season has its change
And I will see you
When the sun comes out again.