The Essence of Me

First Love

>>> Something More

How quickly time passes by
It seems only yesterday
I first saw you
It’s been a month now
And I’ve been thinking
About what I really want from you

A little more attention, perhaps?
A warm smile when I’m blue
A comforting hand when I’m in sorrow
A hug on a cold December day
A kiss on the first blooms of May
I want so much to have
Something more from you

Sadly,
I’m not brave enough
Or foolish enough
To think you’ll give something more
To me.

>>> First Kiss

I look at you
From across the table
And I feel
A fluttering in my chest
Butterflies in my stomach
My eyes caress your face
Eyes, cheeks, nose, lips…
As my mind remembers
A promise

Not too long now
Only a few more sleepless nights left
I’m nervous and just a little frightened
But more importantly,
Impatient

Suddenly, you look up
From the paper you are reading
I hurriedly look away and I tell myself,

Soon.

>>> Not Today

One of these days,
I have to forget you.

I have to forget
Your salt-and-pepper hair
And the way it moves in the wind’s kisses.
I have to forget the way
Your eyes twinkle when you laugh
And the way my heart leaps each time you
Touch me

I have to forget our moments together
And the songs, jokes, and secrets we share
And the little things you do that make me
Love you more

One of these days, my friend.
I have to forget you.
But I’m afraid it won’t be today.
Maybe tomorrow, when I’m a bit stronger.

>>> Rendezvous

Friend,
Seeing you again
Makes me realize
I am not yet
Over you.

Your lips touch my cheek
My heart skips a beat
And the world stops
When you hold my hand.

Friend,
Listening to you again
Talk about your life
Makes me realize that
My heart’s dearest wish
Is to be part of it.

You gaze at me
And sadness envelops
My whole being
Knowing we can never be.

Friend,
Saying goodbye to you again
Makes me realize
Every farewell is a beginning
Every parting means
Starting over
Building my walls
Only to have you
Break it down to little pieces
When we meet again.

>>> My Dear J

I made a mistake.

I led my heart to
Believe
You were not as
Black and white as
You seem.

I led my heart to
Believe
Deep inside you
Is not the void
You claim.

I led my heart to
Believe
I can change you
And make you live
For me.

My dear J,
I made a mistake.
I know that now.
And I’m stronger
And wiser

Because of it.

Experimenting With Haiku

>>> Far Away

Great sea, bring to him
My longing, that he may know
I am always here.

>>> Snow

Silky, delicate
Touch it and remember me
For eternity.

Most Recent Poems

>>> Musing

Alone with my thoughts
Reality hits with sharp truths
Piercing my soul
And I bleed
Bitter blood.

That I found you
And discovered love
Wonderful and sweet.
I basked in the warmth
You gave me
My life
You made whole.

That I found you
And realized
It would have been
Perfect. Real.
Except it wasn’t.

Alone with my thoughts
And contradictions
I realize

You are my greatest trial.

Must I heal yet die?
Or bleed yet live?

>>> An Apology

With my shovel
I dig
The bitter soil
Of your past
Releasing
The voices
Of ghosts
You buried
With your
Bare hands.
You fought me
And my determination
My shovel
Wounding
Threatening
You
And the tranquility
Of your
Existence.
I look
At my hands
Soiled with
Your blood and
My tears.
I look at you.
Cold. Numb. Lifeless.
I hear
My heart.
Stop digging.
And you will
Learn to
Start living.

>>> Secret

It pains me.
That I could not
Breathe
A word
On how much
I Love You.

When I want
To shout it out
From the depths
Of my soul.
When I want
To sing it
To all who will
Listen.

It pains me.
But I will
Endure
This secret
For us
To be
Happy.

>>> Of Friends And Trees

Friends are like
The parts of a tree.

Some friends are like the leaves.
They easily grow
Lush and beautiful
But after a while
Turn brown and wither.

Some friends are like the branches.
Clinging stubbornly
They neither wither nor die
But under pressure
Break.

Some friends are like the trunk.
Big and strong
For years and years remains unmoved
But when the woodcutter comes
Falls down and dies.

But some friends are like the roots.
Often hidden and unnoticed
But through rain or sunshine
Storm and thunder
The roots keep the tree standing
And give it all the nutrients it needs
And will stay for as long as the tree lives.