The Essence of Me

My mind is a blank right now. There are a lot of things that I want to write about but my brain has not yet recovered from the strains of these past few weeks. So I’m just going to share with you guys the poems that I’ve written so far. Criticisms, constructive or otherwise, would be much welcome. Just a warning, though… most of what I’ve written are love poems so if this kind of stuff makes you sick, better not continue down. Well, what can I say? Deep inside, I am really a sucker for mush. Enjoy!

The Early Years

>>>  Angel

I am falling
Rapidly heading down
To the bottom of this dark abyss
There’s no hope for me
No reason to grasp
At a chance
For a new life.
I am lost
I am afraid
I have no one
Not anymore
Until

You swooped down
Swift as a falcon
Shouting my name
Over and over
So sweet
So divine
Your wings
White as an angel’s

Yes,
You are my angel.
Our eyes locked
And there I saw
All the things
I have been searching for.

Your arms outstretched
The promise of salvation.
More than that,
The promise
Of love.

Fly me away, dear angel
Hold me close
And never let go.
Caress me with your
Midnight eyes
Drown me
In your warmth.
Home is anywhere
With You.

>>>  Autumn

I sit here alone
Watching the leaves fall
Slowly dancing in the wind
Slowly dying in the night
And as they descend
Gracefully
My tears fall
Rhythmically
A leaf for a tear
A tear for a leaf.

And memories
My memories
Flow uncontrollably
My past flashes vividly
Back to when there was
You and me
And a world
Full of love
And hope.

Now there’s nothing left of me
Of my heart
Of my soul
Only the wind
In my face
The emptiness
Inside.

And like the leaves
Slowly falling
I’m fading into the darkness
To be with you.
Forever.

>>>  Desperate

I look at you
And my heart melts
How can I feel this way?
When I know
We can never be

Worlds too different
Me, real
But empty
You, unreal
Yet I feel
A longing so great
A love so deep

How can I ache for something
I have never felt before?
An embrace. Your embrace.
A kiss. Your kiss.

How can I long for a love
That’s never coming true?
A heart. My heart.
Weeps.
Tears of sorrow. Of regret.

I sigh
Hopelessness
Engulfs me.
I sleep
To dream

Maybe there
I will see you
And meet you
And maybe even
Say hello.

>>>  Finale

I cannot do this anymore
My broken heart
Cannot endure it
Any longer
My eyes are tired
Of weeping
Senseless tears
So please
Let me say it
One last time
So there would be
No more goodbyes.

>>>  The Parting

The eerie silence makes my heart
Cry out for you,
My throat dry,
I could not bring myself
To say goodbye.
Just cry 
Of the pain, the agony
Of having to see
You go.
Your retreating footsteps
Shatters my heart
Leaving deeply etched prints.
Tearing me apart.

>>>  Mother and Child

It was the most
Beautiful picture
I have ever seen,
So very much
Like The Madonna.
Your youthful angelic face
So peaceful and content
And your eyes
Sparkle with tenderness
With love
With pride.
And as you gaze down
At the baby you hold
In your arms
I can almost hear you whisper

Do not be afraid, my child.
I am here. Forever.

A promise unfulfilled.

She was the same child
You walked away from
Without looking back
Without goodbyes
And without much effort
You crushed her heart
And broke her spirit.
The same child
Who longed to see
Your familiar face
On her every birthday.
Who searched the crowd
On her high school graduation
Only to find
An absolute
Nothingness.

She was the same child
Who strived and worked hard
To achieve so much
To make you
Want her again
And see that proud look
From you
Just like in the picture.

And the same child’s head
Is bent now
Looking at you
Through the glass dividing
Life and death.
As you lie
In that white box of infinity,
Tears of regret
Of many years lost
Never to be recovered
Well up in her eyes.
Eyes that look
Exactly like yours.

I know you will never
Come back.
And as I turn away
I close my eyes
Like a silent prayer
I finally whisper
The words I promised myself
Never to say to you.

Goodbye, Mother.

To Be Continued…