Chapter Closed
December 13, 2005 by edzguanko
The end of the year is fast approaching, and with it comes the end of a friendship. It’s funny in a cruel sort of way, because I’ve reached this moment a long time ago (as you can see by my previous posts), and yet I’ve never truly accepted it. I was hellbent on clinging and trying to fix the problem, or making myself believe that I was misinterpreting things. Now I realized that by staying, I have only prolonged the agony.
What makes now different from my previous "moving on" dramas? Nothing really. Except this time, there’s no turning back. And instead of that life-shattering pain I feel a sense of tranquility. A feeling that, for the first time, I am actually doing what is right for me. There is no haste, no tears, no recriminations… only the realization that it’s over.
True, it’s hard to let go of someone who means so much to you, someone who has become so much a part of you. But one important thing that I look for in a friendship is consistency. I can’t stay with a person who makes me feel loved and important one moment, and then treats me as second-best the next. Don’t get me wrong. It isn’t entirely the other person’s fault. I have a lot to answer for, my unrealistic expectations, my nagging, my self-pitying… and it’s come to a point where I don’t even recognize myself anymore.
Friends should lift you up, make you feel good, make you feel like no matter how shitty the world is you’ll be all right. Because you have friends. When this isn’t the case anymore, it’s time to let go and move on.
And before the year ends, this is what I will do. Nothing more will be written on this subject. It’s time to move on to the next page. It is time to close this chapter of my life.
"If you want your life to be a magnificent story, then begin by realizing that you are the author and everyday, you have the opportunity to write a new page."
