Three. This is the number of times I’ve cried in the office since I got hired by this company. Considering I just hit my sixth month, it would appear I cry once every two months. Now that is definitely a bad sign.
The first time I cried was when I was in lab. I wasn’t happy with the way my superior addressed our concerns. She had a way of making a person feel stupid even when you are actually asking valid questions. I can’t stand people like that. My second tearful experience happened when I was already a month in production, and this time it was because of a customer who turned out to be an asshole from the pits of hell. Even my TL got pissed off with him.
The third time happened today. To be told by my superior that I was the subject of a meeting for doing something I was told I can do, to be discussed like I was common cheater ( I don’t really know what they discussed but I got the impression that it was to this effect), this was just too much for me. From the time I first hit the floor I did my job to the best of my ability. I tried my best to follow the company’s methods and procedures when addressing customers’ concerns. I’m proud to say that more than 90% of my customers are happy customers. I don’t mean to brag because I don’t have the right. Truth is, I never meet my metrics when it comes to QA, AHT, attendance, or even sales. But when it comes to customer service, I make sure that before I end the call I have done everything in my power to resolve the customer’s concern.
Today something went wrong. It wasn’t my fault (or maybe part of it was) and I wasn’t the one who took the fall. But because it was me who was directly involved and I’ve been the subject of a meeting among the higher-ups, I don’t know if I can stay with this company. Even though it wasn’t my fault those who know what happened probably think I was to blame. For someone who has nothing in life but her pride and integrity, I can not bear this. I would rather lose my job than stay with the company with people thinking I cheated. In fact, I would rather die than have people doubt my integrity.
The only thing that’s stopping me is my teammates. I would hate to leave them, because they’ve been such wonderful people, and today I’ve felt their support more than ever. I wish I know what to do. My heart tells me to just submit my resignation letter and be done with it.
And the way I feel right now, I just might do that.
