If I had written this post 2 days ago, the title would have been Trapped. That’s how I was feeling these past weeks… I can feel deep inside that I have some place to go, something meaningful to do with my life, but the invisible chains holding me down were just too strong. I was just about to give up, resigned to a fate that’s starting to embitter me, when this wonderful opportunity came. And I was free.
This is a fresh start for me and I’m very excited, but nervous at the same time. It’s been so long since I’ve done this, and I’m afraid I’m no longer good at it. No, I am not talking about sex =) I’m actually talking about writing. It feels good to be doing what I love doing and get paid for it. I’ll do my best to meet the expectations and this time, I’ll make sure that there are no distractions.
It’s just sad that I had to leave my teammates just when I’m starting to feel really close to them. And of course there’s this other person I’m leaving behind… and to think I haven’t seen him since New Year! Now I feel really lonely.
I’m just hoping that I’ll be so busy I won’t have time to think about stuff that makes me sad… I’ve been miserable for so long I can’t remember how it felt like to be truly happy. And by happy I meant feeling peaceful inside…like everything is where they’re supposed to be.
I’m not happy… not yet. But at least I’m free. That’s enough for now.
hahaha… you shouldn’t have waited to feel trapped in order to get out… you should have started way earlier! look at me, never been happier! anyways, it’s always not too late. good luck on your new undertaking and wish you all the best!