The Essence of Me

Two weeks ago, my great grandfather died. He was eighty-seven years old and according to nanay (my grandmother), he died because his lungs stopped working (or something like that). He and his second wife live quite far from the city so it wasn’t easy to bring him to the hospital. But like what my nanay said, it was his time to go.

Come to think of it, eighty-seven isn’t a bad age to die. In this time of diseases, war, famine, chemicals and plastics, you’re lucky if you even reach seventy. So Lolo Guido has had a good run. He had two wives (the first one, our Lola, died), six sons, two daughters, and countless grandchildren (I will not even attempt to count them all). Not to mention the great grandchildren.

As a dutiful great granddaughter, I went home for the last three days of his wake and for the funeral. I wanted to be there for nanay, because I was a bit scared that she might fall apart. I was mistaken. My nanay, ever the embodiment of strength, was busy as a bee. She organized the whole affair, and for the entire week of her father’s wake she hardly slept. I am really amazed by her, and I can’t imagine where her strength comes from. Perhaps it was from the thought that this was the last time she would ever serve her father. Or maybe she was just being herself, the tireless worker.

I wanted to help out but as always, I am useless at these things. I tried to do some chores but I just got in the way. So what I did was just mingle with our relatives and massaged nanay when she’s tired. That’s her one vice in life, massages. And I’m always happy to oblige, knowing that it’s the only way I could help out.

The death of Lolo Guido made me realize that anytime, death could take us away. I’m scared of the thought that I might lose my grandparents, because I honestly don’t know what I’d do without them. I just hope and pray that they would live up to a hundred or at least until such time that I am able to give back even just a little of what they have given me and my siblings.

Though I am scared of death, in my heart of hearts I know that death is not the end of everything. We are but travelers on this earth, and when our life here ends, our new life with God begins.

See you soon, Lolo.

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

- Psalm 23 (KJV)