The Essence of Me

When I was still very young, I heard the story of Job in Sunday school. I was angry with God because he was so cruel to poor Job. It didn’t matter to me that all that the Devil took away was returned by God tenfold. All that mattered was that God let those horrible things happen to a loyal servant.

Only when I grew up did I realize that we always get tested on those that we love most. This is God’s way of proving that our love for Him is greater that any love that we have for a person or a thing. If we pass His test, God will shower us with His love and abundant blessings.

At twenty-four, God has already given me countless tests and it shames me to say that I failed Him most of the time. Instead of holding on to my faith, I held on to anger. Instead of clinging on to love, I clung to misery and despair. I dwelt on ugly and bitter memories, and let these affect my actions.

Eighteen days to go before I turn twenty-five. My gift to God and to myself, is that I will be kinder and be more understanding. I will try to live peacefully, without anger, hatred, and bitterness. I will let Him guide me in all aspects of my life. I will strive to be worthy of His love and His blessings.

The battle with my personal demons begins today.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler’s snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."                              

- Psalm 91 -