Realization
August 11, 2007 by edzguanko
Midyear marked a very important period in my life.
A few weeks before my twenty-sixth birthday, I finally admitted that I am in love with someone else. The realization was both terrifying and exciting. Terrifying because I was about to let go of the love and hope I’ve cherished for more than six years. A love that was so comfortable and good that it helped me get through the dark episodes in my life.
Finally, I stopped pining.
Falling in love with someone else, which I thought was next to impossible, was exciting. It made me feel like a teenager all over again — having that warm feeling in the pit of my stomach, the crazy way my heart speeds up when he’s nearby, the way my knees seem to melt when he smiles at me, the inexplicable shyness I feel whenever he kisses me. This is so high school… and I love every minute of it.
I know that I’m in for another heartbreak. I know that I am entering yet another hopeless situation. But if falling in love feels this good, this exhilarating… if loving heightens every sense, every emotion… if falling in love makes every fiber of my being feel alive… if being with him warms my very soul… then, getting hurt is worth it. I would enjoy every touch, every word, every look. I would savor each moment, each memory. I would love him with all my heart and soul. And if I get hurt, I could look back and still be grateful that he made the impossible happen.
He made me stop pining.
