I just got back from a friend’s wake. He was really more of an acquaintance because I met him only thrice. But he was very close to someone dear to me, and I’ve heard so much about him that I somehow felt close to him, too. When I saw him lying in the coffin I couldn’t reconcile the person I was seeing with the one in my memory. I stood there looking at him and I couldn’t breathe. I was so close to tears, but I dare not show it because that would seem weird. I barely knew him… and now I would never get the chance to know him well.
I finally cried on my way home… I still couldn’t breathe. A thousand thoughts raced through my mind but one in particular made me panic… what if it was someone else? Someone I love? I don’t know how I would survive the loss of a loved one. Just thinking about it is unbearable. I cried in fear of losing any of my family and dearest friends… more importantly, I cried in fear of losing them without letting them know and feel how much I love them.
Death is inevitable, and this is the very reason why we should treasure the people we love. Each day we spend on petty quarrels is a day lost that we can never get back. Each angry and hurtful word we utter causes pain that can no longer be undone.
I feel sad and guilty for the times I got too caught up in my life that I took my loved ones for granted. And I feel sad and guilty that I had to see him like this to be reminded of all these things.
Thank you for reminding me what life is really about. I’m glad to have known you, however briefly…
Journey well.
(For Ferdi)
