The Essence of Me

I’m supposed to be wasted after four bottles of beer, but our last conversation hit me like cold water. I’m so scared that I’m never going be over him. And we’ve already established that he isn’t going to fall in love with me anytime soon. I just put the phone down and I already miss him. I feel like he’s my soulmate, and whether or not he feels the same way is irrelevant. I ask myself, am I doing the right thing, staying away from him?

Now, I’m not so sure anymore. I can’t imagine a week without talking to him. And given that I’ve loved him for the past seven years, will this time off make any difference?

I miss him, but I need time to think. I said goodbye to him and like a good friend he let me go. Deep inside I wanted him to say that, no, he can’t let me go. Deep inside I wanted him to ask me to stay, to wait. And I would’ve waited, no matter how long. But he’s not like that. He’s honest and kind, and in his own way he really cares about me. And I know that’s why he let me go. 

Oh hell… what will I do now??