The Essence of Me

I am such a hypocrite. I refuse to acknowledge the source of my anger and resentment, pretending to be righteous and self-sacrificing but in truth, I am a wretched person. I wish to rid myself of the burdens I so gallantly took upon my shoulders. I pretend that I’m strong and I can handle it but inside me painful shards of regrets are building up and tearing me to pieces.

I hate being tied down. To people, to a job, to anything. I burn out quickly, and being able to move from one thing to the next is what’s helping me survive. But the heavier the burden is, the harder it is to move… and leaving them behind is not an option.

I feel so trapped. A cage, no matter how comfortable, is still a cage. Even love can be a prison. No, scratch that. The obligations and expectations associated with love can be a prison. But I have no choice but to endure, to try to quell my desire to cut the bonds which hold me down.

Please, God, give me strength and patience.